ABS commentators Jay Bruce and Mikel Dunnagan recently sat down with a representative from Conference CFPB to talk about the upcoming season.
ABS, “As you all know, the new conference alignments have the CFPB, OCC, FDIC, FRB, and NCUA all vying for the big prize. OTS merged, willingly or unwillingly, with the OCC, and CFPB was recently added. We’re here with a representative of the new CFPB Conference. Tell us, what’s it like to be the “new guy on the block””?
CFPB, “We are excited about the privilege and challenge that this new conference brings about. We promise our fans, all fans of regulations, really, that we’ll leave it all on the field, no holding back.”
ABS, “Tell us about how the change came about, you coming in and OTS getting merged.”
CFPB, “Well, we’re only concerned about how well we perform. Yesterday doesn’t matter. How the conferences looked last year won’t determine how well we can compete today.”
ABS, “We understand that CFPB got a lot of money to come aboard this alignment. How much?”
CFPB, “Look, we’re here to compete. The money and all is nice, but the main reason that we formed this conference is the chance to compete with the “big boys” and show everyone that we're for real”.
ABS, “Any idea how the old OTS teams will fare this year?”
CFPB, “At this point, it’s anybody’s guess how they’ll do in the OCC conference, especially since their referees will be calling their games a lot tighter than they are used to.”
ABS, “How have the teams in your new conference responded to you?”
CFPB, “At the heart of it all, they’re predators, I mean, competitors going for the same big prize. There’s going to be some trash talking and jawing; you know it’s coming. Once they get on the field, our referees will be there to make sure the game is played fair…for the little guy…the fan. Our goal as a conference is to make sure that fans out there have fair and equal access to the games and not just limit it to those millionaires and billionaires making over $250,000.”
ABS, “What is toughest on the conference, not having a commissioner, having all new players, animosity from the rest of the conferences?”
CFPB, “Even though the conference is new, we’re all seasoned veterans. We have the best training facilities, the best fans, you know. I’m sure the Commissioner, whoever he or she is, will be the best for the conference and the little guy. This conference didn’t happen by accident. Everything about us was carefully thought out and planned. We’re what “hope” and “change” is all about.”
ABS, “The FRB wrote some proposed rules with the final comments due 2011. When do you think you’ll finalize these?”
CFPB, “Look, we like rules as much or more than the next conference, but we’re not going to be backed into a corner and throw out some arbitrary date. We’ll finalize them when we finalize them. You’ll be the first to know when we apply them retroactively.”
ABS, “Won’t doing that change the scores of the games that have already been played and are in the books?”
CFPB, “Hey, a game’s not over ‘til our Commissioner sings.”
ABS, “How do you think your refs will call big games? Will they over-penalize some teams?”
CFPB, “As Voltaire said of the English, “They occasionally would shoot a general just to get the other’s attention.” That goes for banks, too.”
ABS, “Your primary charge is to regulate the large teams. Are you afraid that the smaller ones are too quick for you, that you can’t handle their speed?”
CFPB, “Look, we can regulate with anyone. Fast, slow, big, small, it doesn’t matter. Once we get going, we can’t be stopped; we won’t be stopped. You've got to either get on our side or get out of the way! One day, there will be on, just one, Super Conference. Then we’ll see who regulating the little guy, I mean the little teams.”
ABS, “And there you have it. Sounds like Conference CFPB has the confidence to make it to the big game this year and for many years to come.”
